If you replace “Chuck Norris” with “Mares” in jokes about him it’s scarily accurate… Lets check it out with these funny mare jokes:
Mares make onions cry.
Mares can kill two stones with one bird.
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Mares came first.
Mares sleep with a night light. Not because mares are afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of mares.
If you Google search “Mares getting their butt kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for mares.
Death once had a near-mare experience.
When God said, “Let there be LIGHT!” Mares said, “Say, please.”
Mares are the reason Waldo is hiding.
…..Wow……..
I love a good mare but these funny mare jokes are just too good! It’s funny because, deep down, we all know mares do rule the barn—and the world. Their stubborn charm, side-eye glare, and unstoppable confidence are why we love them (and sometimes fear them). Let’s be honest: even the Boogeyman wouldn’t dare borrow their brushes.
Horse humor like this isn’t just about laughs—it reminds us why we keep coming back to the barn, day after day, bruises and all. The sheer sass and sparkle of mares is legendary, and frankly, they deserve their own comedy special.
If you’ve got your own savage mare jokes or epic barn stories, drop them in the comments. Let’s celebrate the myth, the legend, the mare—together.
If these jokes made you laugh, you’ll love my funny horse shirts — perfect for the barn, shows, or scaring Chuck Norris himself. [Check them out here!]
If you’re hungry for some factual content head on over to one of my other articles about why its called English Riding instead of Eastern! [Check it out here!]